Sleeplessness

This is one of the very few posts where I don't have a picture... not that you would want one b/c it'd have to be of myself up in the middle of the night ready to pull my hair out! This post is really to document a phase we're experiencing right now and I don't want to forget the reality of it especially as I wrap it in the irony and humor of life. I want to look back and be able to empathize with young mothers... I want to REMEMBER these days... all of the very, very, very good and rich moments. I am constantly seeing slide shows of my sons lives - I picture their possible weddings and the slides and slides of pictures of their young faces that I will be remembering. BUT, I also want to remember the very realness of this stage of life too that brings tiredness, long days, and memories of eyes that were bright and youthful that DID NOT need eye makeup to look awake!! :) I always feel bad when people ask, How are you? And my first thought is always... TIRED. I always think... do I answer honestly or does that sound like I'm complaining? I'm tired of saying I'm tired! But, here's the deal, it's the truth. And I'm cool with it. I know it's life right now, and I know it's part of the package of being a parent. And I suppose it's a pretty good trade off for all the joy you find in between! So anyways, for my own memory, here is a quick excerpt I wrote to a dear older friend today...

"Sleep -- I'm not sure I know what it is anymore!!! ha ha :) Last night, Myles slept through the ENTIRE night for the first time since November (with no tylenol or motrin... gotta be honest!)!!! So very ironically, Henry woke up at 3:30am b/c of the storm and said he was scared and that his stomach hurt. So I got him some almonds, and he wanted to be in our room. So I made him a bed next to ours, and he was awake until 5am!! Finally, he fell asleep. Jonathan's alarm went off at 4:45am, 4:55am, and 5:05am... By the grace of God Himself I didn't reach over and punch him!! And then Myles woke up at 5:20am to start the day. Do you remember days like this with little ones? I was reminded of the verse Jonathan sent me last night... Psalm 25:5, "Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long." And I was thinking about that song we sang Sunday morning, Bless the Lord O My Soul. There's that verse that ends with ... "Let me be singing when the day is done." Trying to dwell on the reality that even in the day's end, the Lord knows my heart, knows my weariness physically, and He cares deeply. Just knowing that is enough to bouy me up -- thank you for your prayers and acts of kindness to me. They are such an encouragement!"